Goodbye

You keep breaking my heart
Because I let you.

For a crumb of your time,
I let you win.

For a touch of your skin,
I die.

For a moment with you,
I forget about everyone else.

And then you break my heart,
Every time.

It hurts, worse than regular pain.
It hurts, deep in my soul.
Because I know that you could
Never be fully mine.
You’d never let that be.

So I cried.
Cried into my pillow and filled
It with salty tears and pain.

I cried until there were no tears,
Left, then I cried some more.

I cried because I let you break me.
Again.

But this time, you’ve left me with no heart to break.

This time, you can’t plead with
Me to stay.

I gave you my loyalty and my love
And you used it and squandered
It.

You no longer deserve it.
You probably never did.
Unrealistic ideations of what you could be,
Held me back from seeing what
You actually are.

A broken soul, who doesn’t want to be fixed.

I hope you find your happy.
Because I’ve found my own.
And it’s me.
It’s always been me.