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I didn’t want you to stay. But I never wanted you to leave.

Your lips skim the apples of my cheeks and down to my neck.

The little voice I’m the back of my head screams that you are dangerous.

It screams that you’ll break my heart.

Your fingers trace unspoken words down my body as I stare up into your eyes, and I shiver at your touch.

Deep down, I know what you are.

But I know how you make me feel.

My heart aches as I watch you sleep, knowing that you are capable of so much damage.

But the joy and desire warm my soul, when I hear my name escape from your lips as you dream.

I shake those thoughts from my head and kiss your shoulder, willing myself to go back to sleep.

Maybe I’ll be the one to leave in the morning, I think to myself, in the quiet of the night.

Save myself from being mesmerized by your eyes again.

Save myself from falling under the spell of your voice again.

Perhaps I’ll leave in the morning.

The sun rises and gleams through my window pane.

I search for you on the empty bed and I know in my heart of hearts that you’ve gone already.

Though I still listen carefully for any signs that you’re still here.

Memories of the nights we had shared.

The sheets tangled between us.

The secrets spoken under the dim light of the small room.

I lay my hand on the still warm side of the bed.

Still smell your scent on the pillow.

A tear stings my eye and I sigh.

I didn’t want you to stay. But I never wanted you to leave.