Crush

From the moment I saw you, I knew. I do not know, what I knew, but I knew it. You were standing outside the doors of the library, on your phone, arguing with someone. You looked defeated and heartbroken. No matter what you were attempting to say to them, it was falling on deaf ears. We locked eyes in passing, you offered me a weak smile, that I returned right back.

Over the course of the next few weeks, I looked forward to your arrival. You came in like a whirlwind, much to the chagrin of the library staff. Books, bags, coffee, books, bags, and coffee. I would catch glimpses of you, from time to time, from across the room. Eyebrows knitted in concentration, I began to catalogue every sigh, every frustrated grumble, every time you swept your hair out of your eyes.

But it was the days, that you weren’t there, that I would notice the emptiness. I would look to the door, expecting your frenzied arrival. When you did not come, in the pit of my stomach, I felt the sting of disappointment. It was then, that I would give myself “pep talks”. I would tell myself, that it was ridiculous to carry on these machinations of you and I. Convince myself that I played no part in your life. Your life outside this library had nothing to do with me. Besides, you did not even know my name. It was true, all these weeks later, and we had never even spoken to each other, save for a nod or head shake.

Frustrated that I had grown attached to you, I began to ignore your smiles at me, even going so far as to roll my eyes at you. Stupid, I know. But I think it was my half-hearted way of keeping my distance from you, maybe even protecting myself, from almost certain rejection.

Then one day, I finished my research early. I packed up my belongings and made my way to the door, when you stopped me. In your outstretched hand, you held a small little book of Poetry. You said that I had left it behind, but I am meticulous about my things, so I politely declined that it was mine. I turned to leave when I felt your gentle touch on my elbow. When I turned back to you, I looked into your eyes and I saw our future. Kids, grandchildren, you, and I sitting on the front porch swing of our house.

I shook myself from the fantasy, as you repeated your question, “Would you like to grab a coffee with me?” I smiled at you,
Frozen and in shock, The words flew out of my mouth, before I could stop them. “I’ll be yours, forever, if you’ll have me.”

Without missing a beat, you chuckled and replied, “Well, then, let’s get coffee first and then, and then, we’ll have Forever.”