Afraid

Sometimes I am strong.
Strong for them.
Strong for him.
Strong for everyone except me.

Sometimes I am loud.
Protective of them.
Protective of him.
Protective of everyone except me.

Sometimes I fight.
Fight for them.
Fight for him.
Fight for everyone except me.

But when I’m alone,
I’m afraid.
Afraid to feel strong.
Afraid to be protective.
Afraid to fight.

I try.
I try so hard to
Do…
Be…
Live…
How they think I am.

But when it’s just me,
I’m just fighting to be free.
Just wanting to break out
Of the prison in my mind.
Wanting to help the scared little girl inside of me.
She’s too afraid to ask for it
Because she’s trapped in there.

With scary demons.
Reliving the same nightmare.
I hear her screams.
I hear her cries.
I want to push her away
Because I don’t want to remember.
I don’t want the pain.

But I need to help her.
I need to help me.
I have to be strong.
I have to be protective.
I have to fight.
Not for them.
Not for him.
But for her.
Only her.